NASA Calls Comet Elenin "Wimpy"

Comet Elenin has been the subject of some serious internet chatter for quite some time now and has instigated a world of doomsday machinations pointing to everything from the second coming of Christ to the possibility of an alien spacecraft shadowing the comet’s tail on a collision course with Earth. Probably the most disturbing of the lot has been the mutterings of impending doom that have invoked images from just about every Hollywood disaster flick as believers convinced the end is near echo prophecies from just about every ancient civilization currently known to modern man. The chatter has basically grown so monstrous that NASA, on a mission to propel certain beguiling conspiracy theories into deep space once and for all, has decided to relay some interesting facts about the comet called Elenin, the first of which being it’s not going to kill us. Why is not going to smash into the ocean sending behemoth tsunamis in every direction while filling the skies with a thick barricade of volcanic ash? Well, according to the experts, it’s because Elenin is really a little itty bitty baby comet in relative terms, only about 5 km wide at most and will not even be coming close to a direct hit. In fact, the closest it will come to this wonderful ball of frenetic paranoia is 90 times the Earth-moon distance, which when you do the math, comes to 22 million miles. In case you are still not convinced, NASA has even gone ahead and posted a Q&A entitled, “Everything You Ever Needed to Know About Comet Elenin.” So basically, no, Comet Elenin will not block the sun for three days. And, no, comet Elenin is not a brown dwarf and no it will not be sucking Comet Honda into a black hole. And no, Comet Elenin has not been the subject of intense NASA scrutiny indicative of a looming Armageddon and a plot to keep the truth from the people. In fact, what they call Elenin over at NASA is literally, “wimpy.” Yes, wimpy.